Our first ritual has also become our longest standing ritual.
It is the one that has made the distance, and while other rituals may be sexier, this one single act realigns Master and i in our dynamic faster than anything else.
It is known to us as “Shower Service”.
The First Shower Service
I turn the shower on and go about setting up the bathroom while MR strips down in the bedroom.
I line up our mini travel bottles, making sure I put in the shower poof MR likes to use versus a washrag. It is a small detail, but I am glad I remembered it when packing.
Something like that I never would have paid attention to a year ago, deeming my husband quite fit to pack what he wants for himself.
While this is true, a part of me enjoys taking care of him.
It isn’t like a mother caring for a child. He has a mom, he certainly doesn’t need another. But it does feel like a wife who doesn’t worry about a penny because her husband toils at work all day everyday doing her very best to say thank you for his hard work.
I don’t know if this is a homemaker thing, or a submissive thing, or just a “me” thing.
I don’t care. I enjoy doing special things for him. So I do them.
As the steam of the shower starts to fill the unfamiliar bathroom, I get inspired to try something new.
MR enters the bathroom and I warm as I look him over.
He is a handsome man by anybody’s standards. Plenty tall at six foot, but his height isn’t intimidating (though his demeanor is just that).
I offer him a hand and a smile and lead him in the hot shower.
If you are like me and shower with your partner on a regular basis, it looks like this: you take turns in the cold air and under the heated water, you take turns shampooing, rinsing, soaping. It is a bit of a dance if you will, moving in circles, wet naked skin brushing up against wet naked skin as you pass.
In an effort to really learn about my husband in new, deeper ways, I ask him, “I’d like to clean you. Can you teach me how you like to shower? Like, what order you do stuff in? I have never really paid attention.”
I wait for his laughter or eyebrow raise to the foolishness of this request, but he surprises me by simply saying, “Sure, I’d like that,” and gives me a kiss on the forehead.
We hop in, and he gets under the water and teaches me.
You can learn a lot about a person by the way they shower. The speed, the particularities. I give MR a hug and get my hair and body wet, and eagerly become a student of my husband.
Hair first, taking much more time than even I do with much more hair.
He asks me to use my nails and scratch. I do, and ask him if he prefers scratching in lines, like this, or circles, like this.
He answers, “Lines.”
A light moan escapes his lips as I take my time giving him a scalp massage. The scent of his minty shampoo fills my nose, and I begin to feel a peace settle in my being.
I love being this source of relaxation to him. To bring him the gift of peace. It pleases me to please him.
I stand back, ass hitting the cold shower wall as I ask him to rinse and he does, and I continue the massage with conditioner.
Before I rinse my hands, he tells me to run the conditioner through his goatee, and I do so.
I learn his pattern, and tab it in my memory to be able to recall for future opportunities to shower together.
Next comes warming the poof in the water before applying the soap (something I never do myself).
Soap, and a very specific order: chest, arms, back. Underarms. Groin. Legs, butt. Feet.
As I go to wash the bottom of his feet, it brings me, determined to do as thorough a job as possible, to my knees in front of him.
Soap bubbles covering the both of us, I go to my right knee first, and then my left.
It is not an unfamiliar position per se, because I have certainly provided a certain “sexual service” to him like this. But it is different somehow.
I gently lift his first foot and use the loofah to clean it, running my finger in between his toes. And again on the other side.
Finishing this act of service to him, for the first time since I landed on my knees, I look up to his face.
He is staring at me, watching me with concentration. When our eyes meet, several feet apart instead of several inches apart, an energy flows between us.
It is impossible to put into words properly, but a spark ignites; a connection flares.
Before my brain can interpret what is leaving my throat, I hear my voice say clear as a bell:
“Thank you, Sir.”
I have come home.
Therein lies the beauty of the Shower Service. It is the very basic principle of learning to pay attention to your Partner’s moves, their preferences, their tiny details that may seem insignificant until they meet a person who cares enough to care about those details.
A majority of the time, it will land the person offering the service solidly on their knees, showing their place in life, and very symbolically showing their respect and love and commitment by way of washing the feet that carries a Master through life.
If you are looking for a new way to show your desire to please your Partner, or if you are looking to train a partner to learn how to read you and your subtle wants and needs, consider putting in place a shower service.
It has been instrumental for us, and remains, in many ways, our home.