Two Love Letters On Valentine’s Day


Dearest Master,

Happy Valentine’s Day to You, Sir. my Love. my Husband.

You’ve given me an amazing gift today, though you may not even know it.

You know how we show love throughout the entire year (most emotionally aware family in the history of ever, right? smile God i love our lil family.) So Valentine’s days tend to blur in memory, just a drop in the stream that is our constant state of happy connectedness.

It’s never really been our holiday. So over the years, i’ve adopted it as my holiday. Not just a day for romantic love, but a day for celebrating how much i love myself.

Last night, getting dressed for a celebratory meal out with You, i went to carefully select my accessories. For the first time in a long time, i removed my necklace valet and thumbed through our history. Remember how You told me when we started dating that you’d never gift my jewelry because You simply ‘don’t do that’ in relationships? i’m seeing the first necklace that you ever gave me that broke that forewarning. It looks like trust made out of silver.

And then i thumb through the others, telling the progressive history of “us” according to what has been gifted to wear around my neck.

Can jewelry look aged somehow?

i tuck the necklaces away and removed my silver cleaning cloth. i stare at myself, at Your girl, in the mirror while polishing my collar, and i am overwhelmed with love for myself. Love for who i am, how far i’ve come, the woman growing into her own skin. i think back to who i was before, and i am grateful for your hand to guide me while i transform.

Thanks for all of the love over the years, day in and day out, as reliable as the tide of the Gulf. And thank you for giving me Valentine’s as a day to love my self.

Halloween though. That will always be ours.

All my love,


Dearest MRsDarling,

Happy Valentine’s Day. Boy are you loved.

i am so proud of everything accomplished this past year. There are so many places in your life when you could have stopped and held your hands up and said, “Stop! i’m afraid of failing.” But instead you soldiered on, and i’m so proud.

you’ve been hurt but held your head high, been confused and sought advice, apologized when it was due, remained humble in triumph and graceful when things got sticky. You’ve pushed yourself to better yourself, and i love that about you. KEEP LEARNING.

And wow. You look in the mirror and love what you see. Did you ever think you’d see that day? you’ve finally figured out the key to loving yourself: caring. About yourself, not about others. Despite trying your best to find love from other places, finally you find what you seek inside of yourself. It’s forgiveness and acceptance and care all balled up into one. You care about how you look, you care about your health, you care about your emotional and spiritual path.

And those flaws you see? Finally, you understand that those are what make you you. What make you uniquely darling.

As you go about celebrating love today, feel that middle finger next to your wedding band and remember how it felt when it was pricked several months ago with a thorn: the dull, aching pain, the ribbon of blood that ran down to pool at the base of your fingers, the giving of your blood symbolizing your life for another. Show this slave some love today, allow her some pampering to thank her for her hard work, for taking the pain, for giving, and giving, and giving, and giving.

Continue loving yourself this Valentine’s Day. May your heart continue to overflow for you, for your family, for every person on Earth.

Much love,

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